I can no longer sleep past 7:30 a.m. This saddens me. At the ripe old age of 21, my body is already betraying me. I can't sleep in, my hips are widening at an alarming rate, and I got heartburn the other day after eating Chipotle (but that was totally worth it).
We had this heart healthy lunch thing at work the other day. Most of the things I make involve way too much butter, sugar, and/or bacon to be considered heart healthy, so I decided to make those black bean brownies that have been circulating the internet. You puree a can of black beans and some water and add it to brownies instead of oil and eggs. The verdict: Meh. I coudn't tell there were black beans in there, and the brownie was really dense and chocolaty, though slightly "off" tasting. But in my opinion, if you are going to have a brownie, have a good brownie and don't go putting vegetables into your dessert. Plus, pureed black beans have now made it onto the list of Top Ten Things That Gross Me Out. I think I will share that list now. Which I am also making up right now:
1. Cold soup. Disgusting. All of the fat blobs and sometimes it is just one gelatinous mass. I make Cary heat up our leftover soup.
2. Soggy bread. It makes me dry heave. I am getting nauseous just thinking about it.
3. Picking up Abby's dumb poop when she decides to drop a load while we're jogging. I about tossed my cookies the other day. That stuff is pungent.
4. Raw chicken. Or basically any raw meat. Every time I am handling raw meat, I have to bleach my entire kitchen afterward. Blech.
5. Tuna. Why do people eat that stuff?? It is completely foul. Plus, most people combine their tuna with my other nemesis, mayonnaise. It boggles my mind. And makes me feel queasy.
6. Ear wax. I clean my ears like a maniac. When I see ear wax in someone's ear, I am overcome with a desire to grab a q-tip and go to town. But I'm fairly certain that people would not appreciate the gesture.
7. Belly button lint. I think Cary could make a sweater out of all of the belly button lint that collects in there. A belly button lint sweater is about the most disgusting thing I can even fathom. I'm glad I don't have a hairy belly button. Because that would also be gross.
8. Mayonnaise. I am starting to slightly get over this hatred, but may I be struck by lightning if I ever put mayonnaise on my sandwich. I can eat a few things that have mayonnaise in them, like chicken salad, as long as I don't think about it too much.
9. Roaches. I went to get a mixing bowl out from my cabinet the other day to find that a roach had decided to make it his home. I am not afraid of killing bugs, but killing roaches is the worst because they make that nasty popping sound. And they are fast little boogers! But I can not stop until I know that sucker is dead.
10. Pureed black beans. It looks like chunky chocolate milk and smells like foot.
I had a really long and whiny blog post written about not fitting in and grown up life being lame, but I decided it was too negative so I deleted it.
...And instead I wrote about things that are disgusting? Sorry folks.
Back to our regular scheduled programming as soon as I think of something funny and/or delicious to write about.