Dreams and Mustaches

Last night I dreamed that there were millions of bugs, mainly roly pollies, in our bed. Cary and I were collecting all of the roly pollies and putting them into cups, competing for who had the most roly pollies. We eventually got tired of picking out all of the bugs and just hopped in bed and went to sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night, vividly hallucinating that there were roly pollies crawling all over me. I jumped out of bed and frantically tried to brush them off when I realized I was having a completely-outside-my-mind crazy attack.

What does it mean??

I asked Cary this morning and he says it means I should stop doing LSD so close to bedtime.

While we're on the subject of crazy dreams, I have a strange recurring dream about my teeth falling out. I'll be just chilling somewhere, when suddenly my teeth are all loose and start falling out. I freak out and run around in a panicked frenzy trying to keep my teeth in and to find a dentist to fix me. I try to keep my mouth closed so no one will notice that I have no teeth, but usually it also one of those crazy dreams where you're moving in slow motion and what not. I read online sometime that this dream means you are nervous that people will discover your secret. What is my secret??? I want to know. I thought this dream must be common, seeing as there is an explanation written for it, but whenever I tell people about that dream, they give me that "Did you recently escape from a place with padded walls and straight jackets?" look. It looks a little something like this:

Notice my husbands ridiculous attempt at a "beard" in this picture. It is currently Mustache March, aka "Look like a creepy pedophile who hangs out at elementary schools in a van and tells kids he has some candy March." I am not usually one to use the internet to state passionate opinions, but let me state for the record: Mustaches are disgusting. Say no to 'staches. Flavor savers are wrong. Crumb catchers belong on toasters, not on your face. A molestache will never be in style. And most importantly, my lips are not going near that hairy caterpillar on your face.