Truth or a lie

You know that get-to-know-you game where you have to say 2 things that are true about you and 1 thing that isn't and everyone has to guess which one is a lie? First of all, I hate it when you have to come up with something interesting to say about yourself on the spot. My attempt usually goes something like this: "Umm. I... I... like... pickles. And I... am... from Georgia... And.... and... I... uh... I'm 5'6''." Psyche! I'm 5'7''. And that is usually the best lie I can come up with. I don't handle pressure well.

Anywho. Well loyal readers, today we are going to play a game called, "Which of these activities did I actually do/not do today?'

1.Today I ran 5 miles in the rain.
2. Today I watched 2 episodes of "Hey Arnold" on Netflix.
3. Today I ate a nauseating amount of cadbury mini eggs that were sitting in a bowl at a friend's house.
4. Today I finished my English essay.
5. Today I scrubbed our bathrooms for an hour and it turns out that no amount of scrubbing can make it look clean.
6. Today I wore pants with a zipper and button rather than pants with an elastic waist band for longer than 4 hours.
7. Today I made a delicious dinner for my husband and we enjoyed lots of meaningful conversation.
8. Today I turned off the sprinklers without getting wet.
9. Today I vacuumed the house and had to empty the canister twice because it was full to the brim of Abby hair.
10. Today I finally fit into those darn pants that have been giving me a disgusting muffin top ever since a few extra el-bees decided to make residence around my hips.











Ready for the answers?
1. Totally true. It was awesome/awful.
2. True. I am not ashamed
3. Also true. But I am ashamed.
4. False. And will probably continue to be false until the absolute last minute on Friday night.
5. True. Lame.
6. Almost always false. I do love me an elastic waistband.
7. False. He hoovered a grilled ham and cheese I made him and promptly returned to his cave to mutter weird pilot-speak to himself while staring off into space.
8. True! Boo-ya. Those stupid sprinklers have really been ruining my hair lately, but I finally beat them.
9. A very sad truth. Maybe I will shave her. Bald dogs are so in right now.
10. HOT DIGGITY, this is true! Despite my numerous mentions of cadbury mini egg consumption, I really have been running like a mad woman and dutifully eating all kinds green things, and I can finally squeeze my booty into those jeans for the first time in a while. Holler back.

Triumph

Let it be known.

That on this day, March the twenty-sixth, in the two-thousand and eleventh year,

I was right about something. And Cary had to admit it.


I wish it was about something more monumental, but a victory is a victory. We were sitting on the couch and Cary had that look on his face... The look that means he is about to do something annoying. He was prepping to do that annoying thing where you blow a raspberry on someone's stomach and I am extremely ticklish and I hate it so I yelled, "Don't zerbit me!!!" Cary stopped dead in his tracks to laugh hysterically at the fact that I used the word "zerbit." He claimed that no one else in the world calls that a zerbit and I must have made up the word entirely. It is not uncommon for me to make up things, so at first I was kind of sheepish about my made-up word, and even contemplated admitting defeat. But I refused to back down and let google do the talking for me. Urbandictionary.com came through for me...

Zerbit
n. The act of allowing one's lips and cheeks to vibrate while pressed firmly against a bare abdomen and exhaling forcefully. It usually elicits many giggles and protests from the victim to stop. syn. belly bubbles

I then proceeded to perform my I-told-you-so dance, which really needs some fine tuning, as I rarely have the chance to bust it out in this marriage. That darn hubseroo is always right about everything. 

Someday I might be right about something more significant and more worthwhile, but life is all about savoring the little victories. 

Adorable overload

This video makes me feel the slightest pangs of baby hunger. But those feelings are quickly squelched (what a great word) when I remember that I am still a child and I sometimes have difficulty taking care of myself, let alone a tiny human. And also when I remember how much I enjoy sleeping. But nonetheless, this video is stinkin' precious. Maybe all of the poop and snot is worth it for those giggles.

Countdown

In 32 days I will be flying out to Utah!

I get to see these people:

The ever-refined Reichman clan

 And these people!

Miss them so dang much!

And I get to eat tater tots and grilled cheese just like old times with this girl:

  And I get to wear one of these!

I can't wait to reunite with these two lovers...

Oh Cafe Rio, how you have been missed...

No fro yo here in Dull-Rio

 And then I get to go home to Colorado and play with this!

Kola! I miss my puperooski.

 And then I get to catch up with these wonderful people:

So lucky to call them family :)

 I am so so so excited! I can't wait! The only thing that could make this any better is if I could bring this guy. But he will be too busy flying planes and whatnot.

Purrrr. I like him.

I think about food a lot

 The other day, I woke up and went on an early morning run. Upon coming home, I proceeded to snarf down an alarming amount of caramel popcorn for breakfast. I could have slept in, skipped the popcorn and broken even.

They say that you shouldn't go to the grocery store when you are hungry. I don't even understand how this is possible. Have "they" ever been to the grocery store? I am not hungry when I decide to go to the store. I am not hungry while driving to the store. But the second that I walk into the store and am bombarded with delicious options, I am ravenous. My grocery store trips take an eternity, due to the amount of time I spend waging an internal war with myself over whether or not it is necessary to buy that bag of pizza flavored goldfish. It suddenly seems reasonable to purchase a huge bag of frosted animal cookies. I try to focus on my list and skip the tempting aisles all together, but the grocery stores are tricksy little boogers and strategically place my favorite foods in places where they practically leap into my cart. The second I spot those little Keebler Rainbow Chip Cookies, looking all tasty at the end of an aisle, I become completely convinced that if I do not purchase them, I will pass out on the spot and my entire quality of life will plunge for eternity. After trips to the grocery store, I am frequently exhausted from the emotional anguish that I have endured.

Usually, I am able to escape the grocery store without too many impulse buys. Due to my complete lack of self control, I try very hard to keep junk food out of my house. Lately, it has occurred to me that this strategy may not be working in my favor. Around 4:00 in the afternoon, I tend to find myself with a raging case of the munchies. I ransack my cupboards, looking for something delicious to tide me over until dinner. The search is always disappointing, so I decide to just eat everything in my house. Half a box of honey nut cheerios eaten straight from the box, 2 pickles, and piece of leftover Christmas stocking candy that I don't even like later, I realize that I would have been better off to just eat a dang cookie and get it over with.

I can't really think of a way to wrap up this post. For the last few months, I have been trying really really hard for eat super healthy and end the tumultuous relationship I have with food. I have done really well and dutifully eat my vegetables and only eat one dessert a week. But bad news. I kind of hate every second of it. And I would sell my soul for a cookie right now.

I'm going to go make some. So sue me.

Turns out I would rather be fat and happy than skinny and hungry.

Words

Words I Enjoy Saying:

1. Snickerdoodle

2. Ombudsmen

3. Hyperbole

4. Bureaucracy

5. Phlebotomist

6. Sphygmomanometer

7. Exacerbate

8. Zamboni

9. Tomfoolery

10. Worcestershire

Words That Make Me Cringe:
1. Moist
2. Ointment
3. "Hecka"
4. "Legit"
5. Coupon, when pronounced kyoo-pon
6. Irregardless
7. "Uber"
8. Panties
9. When people pronounce especially as "eck-specially"
10. Mayonnaise

News Bulletins

 This is my 54th blog post. That is about 53 more than I thought I would ever write. As it turns out, blogging makes me feel more productive than watching 8 episodes of Scrubs in a row on Netflix (not that I would know... I've never done that... ) and sometimes I'm hard up for entertainment round these parts. Especially now that the husband has started 12 hour days, chased down with some more studying.

I'm sure you all have been on the edges of your seats, waiting for any updates from the ever-exciting life of Amy Reeves. Hold on to your hats, folks.

- This weekend was action-packed, as usual. On Saturday I went on a nice, sweaty run and then went to swim laps with the Care Bear. We've been trying to swim laps every Saturday for a while now, and I feel I have gathered enough evidence to conclude that it is a good thing that the guys around here are in the Air Force and not in the Navy. Homeboys cannot swim.

- I found another flea on Abby's head. Gross. Abby is hardly ever outside except to do her bid-ness and go on runs with me, so I have no idea how she is getting fleas. It is ticking me off, man. After another extensive search, I still could not find any other fleas or anything. But I put some more flea medicine down her back and now she has a punk-rock doggy mohawk. She's hardcore.

- I finally got the green light from my counselor and I'm going to graduate in April! I have thwarted the valiant efforts of many people working at BYU Independent Study and BYU in general in keeping me from graduating, and I have a few words that I would like to say to all who were involved along the way of this journey, but I won't share them because this is a family friendly blog.

- I may have to sell my kidney on the black market in order to fund this, but I purchased plane tickets this week, not only to Utah for a little graduation sensation, but to Flo-rid-a to hang with my fam bam on the beach for a week! It is going to be a delight. And then I'll be driving up with them to Alabama to get my redneck on. I am way excited, but also a little bit sad because I'll be traveling solo. I'm not so much sad for me, but for my poor hubster. The thought of him eating a microwave dinner all by his lonesome is so heartbreaking! He keeps insisting that he is a grown man and he'll be just fine and will probably actually enjoy not being asked if the dinner I made was really good or just sort of good 50 times per meal, but deep down inside, he will miss me.

- As I mulled over a hula-hoop purchase at Wal-Mart this week, it occurred to me that although time keeps passing and my number of years on this earth keep increasing, I am still 13 years old. In every single way. I feel like a pre-teen charading around as a grown up, just waiting for someone to figure out that I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. Because this just in: Grown up life is kind of lame sometimes. Sometimes I get very depressed about the fact that if I leave the my cup on the couch or my shoes on the floor, they will not magically find their way into their proper places. And if my dog needs $90 flea medicine, I have to pay for it with real actual money! That I was going to use to buy a new swimsuit! But, alas, neither my mother nor my husband are on board with letting us move back home and live in their basement forever, so I decided to be an adult and not purchase the unnecessary hula hoop. As it turns out, I am definitely regretting that decision. Little known fact about me: I am the hula hoop champion of the world. I could hula that hoop all day, err'day. I could be having the time of my life right now, dang it! Maybe I have to embrace the grown up life of bills and cleaning and responsibility, but if growing up means no hula hoops, I want nothing to do with it.

-

Evening News

Attention blog-o-sphere.

I have had the hiccups approximately 15 times today. They last about 20 minutes per session, and they are an awkward hiccup/painful burp combo. My rib cage is sore from an exhausting day of hiccuping. It happens during very inopportune moments, such as during church and while answering the phone. Here is a list of things I have tried to stop the relentless hiccuping.

1. Drinking water
2. Holding my breath
3. Eating cadbury mini eggs
4. Making Cary scare me
5. Eating cake
6. Complaining
7. Collecting all of the star coins on Mario on the wii. (Only 3 left-booya.)
8. Complaining some more

Nothing has worked! But it's obvious that I just need to eat more Cadbury mini egss. I told myself I wasn't going to buy any until Easter. But after a rough trip at Wal-Mart, I was jonesing for hit and there they were, sitting all pretty-like near the register. So I fell off the wagon. Failure has never tasted so good.

Back to the issue at hand. When I was little, I used to love having hiccups. I am not really sure why. Probably the same reason that I thought it was cool to get a bloody nose and I really wanted crutches. I was a strange child. But hiccups have lost their appeal and I no longer get excited about them. How do you get rid of hiccups?? But for reals, ya'll! Help a sister out. Because I think I am getting a chronic case of hiccups. How embarrassing.

Dreams and Mustaches

Last night I dreamed that there were millions of bugs, mainly roly pollies, in our bed. Cary and I were collecting all of the roly pollies and putting them into cups, competing for who had the most roly pollies. We eventually got tired of picking out all of the bugs and just hopped in bed and went to sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night, vividly hallucinating that there were roly pollies crawling all over me. I jumped out of bed and frantically tried to brush them off when I realized I was having a completely-outside-my-mind crazy attack.

What does it mean??

I asked Cary this morning and he says it means I should stop doing LSD so close to bedtime.

While we're on the subject of crazy dreams, I have a strange recurring dream about my teeth falling out. I'll be just chilling somewhere, when suddenly my teeth are all loose and start falling out. I freak out and run around in a panicked frenzy trying to keep my teeth in and to find a dentist to fix me. I try to keep my mouth closed so no one will notice that I have no teeth, but usually it also one of those crazy dreams where you're moving in slow motion and what not. I read online sometime that this dream means you are nervous that people will discover your secret. What is my secret??? I want to know. I thought this dream must be common, seeing as there is an explanation written for it, but whenever I tell people about that dream, they give me that "Did you recently escape from a place with padded walls and straight jackets?" look. It looks a little something like this:

Notice my husbands ridiculous attempt at a "beard" in this picture. It is currently Mustache March, aka "Look like a creepy pedophile who hangs out at elementary schools in a van and tells kids he has some candy March." I am not usually one to use the internet to state passionate opinions, but let me state for the record: Mustaches are disgusting. Say no to 'staches. Flavor savers are wrong. Crumb catchers belong on toasters, not on your face. A molestache will never be in style. And most importantly, my lips are not going near that hairy caterpillar on your face.