Signs that you will not be invited to be a member of MENSA

1. You lock yourself out of your house. Twice. In one day. (The first time, I had left a key with a neighbor while we were out of town during the weekend so I just went over and got it. The second time I had to call maintenance for them to let me in. They were not amused.)

2. While on the phone with your husband, you tell him that you have to go because you can't find your phone. D'oh.

3. You frequently leave your keys hanging from the lock in the front door.

4. You have to include "take a shower" on your daily to-do list or you might actually forget to do it.

5. While stopped at a gas station on a road trip, you panic after shutting the trunk with the car keys inside. You frantically run to the passenger door to tell your husband that the keys are locked in the trunk and are about to call AAA... when your husband pops the trunk from inside the car. 

... More to come, as I am a seasoned expert on being really dumb.