Monday, June 25, 2012

In which I talk about how great I am

Day 6: 3 Personality traits I am proud of.

Well. I feel awkward about this. What if I write this post about how I like that I'm funny and someone comments, "Um... I really don't think you're funny at all." That would just be embarrassing. ...For that person, because then the whole world wide web would know that they have a terrible sense of humor. However, I am the expert on being me, so perhaps I can safely diagnose my 3 best personality traits.

1. I am extremely forgiving. Almost to a fault. On those rare instances where my dear husband is a pain in the hiney, I attempt to be mad at him. I will sulk around the house and try my best to look wounded. But then something will happen that I want to tell him about or I will want him to play MarioKart with me, and I forget entirely that I am mad at him. I am incapable of holding grudges. I don't like an tension or awkwardness, so I tend to just forgive and forget and move on with life. I heard a quote once, something along the lines of: "Holding a grudge is like drinking poison, and expecting the other person to die." The way I see it, being angry just takes a lot of effort, and I am really lazy. Being happy is easier.

2. Along those same lines, my default emotion is to be happy. Unless something is actively causing me to be unhappy, I'm usually just in a good mood. I don't get bogged down very easily. Again, for me it takes effort to be unhappy. And I don't have that kind of attention span. When something is bugging me, I will indulge in a few moments of complaining and self-pity, but there are things to do and places to be! I don't want to sit around and be sad. Sometimes when I'm feeling like life is ganging up on me, I will decide to be in a bad mood. I will walk around like the poor victim of a life of continual heartbreak. I'll walk around the grocery store, imagining I'm the heroine of a sad movie about someone who ruined dinner and her husband didn't even help do the dishes. It would be a very sad movie, with very sad music. And in this scene I am walking around, feeling completely alone in this crowded grocery store of people who don't even know the agony of my tragic life. But then I will see a puppy or someone fall off of a treadmill or have an ice cream cone and my whole bad mood will be ruined.

3. I think (and hope) I'm a pretty compassionate person. I really like people, and I feel like I am pretty decent at understanding and helping. Sometimes the amount of empathy I feel is kind of ridiculous. I've spent hours reading some stranger's blog about how her son and her husband both died within 6 months of each other, and I cry and cry just imaging her heartache. I don't even know her and I want to go to her house, give her a hug, clean her kitchen and make her dinner. I just can't stand it when other people are sad. Whenever any member of my family is sad, I just want to feel their sadness for them and take it from them. I'm still struggling in the whole being helpful to those that I feel compassion towards, but I'm working on it. Perhaps I should start by having more compassion towards people who fall off of the treadmill, instead of laughing at them.

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