In which I don't even mention pregnancy

 Haha, gotcha with that title, didn't I?? Psych, this blog is preggo city because, surprise, I am preggo city.

Holy smokes, it's been over 2 months since I wrote in this here blog. Rats. I'm the worst. If I'm going to use blogging as my excuse for not keeping a journal, I should probably write more than 4 times a year. But as they say, the best time to start a project is yesterday. And the second best is today.

My brain is very full of thoughts and it's getting very uncomfortable having them all bumble around in there. My brain can only entertain so many thoughts at once, and all of these little worries and wonderings are replacing important things like remembering to take the garbage out and remembering to rinse my conditioner out before I get out of the shower. And let's just be real: 90% of my thoughts these days are regarding the tiny human that I am currently incubating. So if you don't want to read my pregnant ramblings, this is not the blog for you. Being pregnant is just so odd. On the one hand, millions of women have been pregnant, our bodies are made to carry babies, and it should really feel natural and like it's not that big of a deal. But on the other hand, it's really freakin' weird and it's like the hugest deal ever. Overall, I would say I like being pregnant. I have felt pretty good, been able to work out and stay active and keep doing hair, and carrying around a little tiny human is a huge blessing. But every time I go to the doctor, they try to tell me that something is wrong!

Let me tell you a tale. Once upon a time, I was 14 weeks pregnant and had just stopped taking progesterone (the medication to help me stay pregnant). I woke up in the middle of the night to HORRIBLE cramps.  So I called the doctor that morning, and she told me to come in and a nurse would check me out. I sit down in the office, obviously a nervous wreck, and this nurse walks in and says in this stupid baby voice, "So I hear you have a tummy ache." Um... not exactly how I would describe it, but sure. This lovely nurse who obviously has been re-tasked into obstetrics after being deemed too hostile to work as a troll guarding Satan's lair, takes my blood pressure. She then says, "What are you all worked up for? Your blood pressure is high and you need to just take a breather and calm down!" At this point I suggested a location where she could stuff her blood pressure cuff once she was done with it. That began our really beautiful relationship between nurse and patient. So, after that point, everything is smooth sailing, pregnancy wise. That nurse was never my nurse when I went in, and everything was groovy. But then a month or so ago, she happened to be my nurse again. And I swear to you my blood pressure went up just from seeing her. She took my blood pressure, and unsurprisingly it was high again. My doctor came in and told me that now that I'd had 2 high blood pressure readings, they needed to test for pre-eclampsia. I told her that I was pretty sure her nurse was just bad for my health, but she seemed pretty convinced. But she told me she'd let met take my blood pressure at home for a couple of weeks and report back. So I took it at home and it has always been just textbook perfect blood pressure. Oh, and during this fun time, I flunked my 1 hour glucose test, which was a whole separate episode of hysterics from me. The 3 hour one was pretty much as terrible as I was told it would be, but I passed it with flying colors. So the count for last week is now up to 4 blood draws. I went to the doctor on Friday, and my BFF nurse took my blood pressure and told me it was 178/99. Um, say again? Because I took it one hour ago at home and it was 115/70. But she assured me that was the reading and REFUSED to take it again. So my doctor sent my grumpy butt over to the hospital for a non-stress test for baby, several hours of blood pressure monitoring for me, and yet another blood draw. I look like a drug addict. And guess what? The whole time I was in the hospital, my blood pressure was like 110/60. The nurses at the hospital made fun of my doctor for sending me over there for hypertension. But just to keep the fun going, I also got to collect my urine for 24 hours to bring in to check for protein in my urine. I was supposed to hear results from that on Sunday, but since I haven't heard anything, I'm guessing there's nothing to tell. Such drama, and in the end, it seems that all is well in baby land. I should just be grateful my doctor is cautious and taking good care of me and baby, but it's a little frustrating to be working so hard to stay healthy and feeling so good, and yet every time I go into the doctor, they burst my bubble and try to convince me I'm actually really terrible at this being pregnant gig. In the end, I will endure all manner of blow draws and pee collecting in the name of a healthy baby boy.

Boy, that was a long story, and probably not all that interesting. Anywho, the past couple of weeks have been a bit of a roller coaster. Come to think of it, the past 7 months have been a bit of a roller coaster. I think I have pregnancy Multiple Personality Disorder. I made this handy chart that summarizes the two personalities that constantly battle for real estate in my brain. This is not a week to week or even day to day change of feelings- these feelings both exist simultaneously at all times. The result of this potent cocktail of emotions is that I am fairly emotionally unstable, and just as likely to greet Cary at the door with a smile and a day full of accomplishments to tell him about as it is that he will find me in the fetal position crying about the fact that my favorite crib got discontinued.  Sometimes Cary just stares at me with a combination of horror and amusement, with no idea what to say or do to make me happy. Luckily, both personalities respond well to back rubs and pep talks, both of which Cary administers as often as he is able.

Amy's Pregnancy Induced Multiple Personality Disoder

 Phew. No wonder I'm so tired. Being crazy is exhausting.

And just to round out this preggo-palooza, here's that ol' survery I have been so terrible at filling out. Oh well, I'm not too concerned about it since my mom and I are probably the only ones super interested in this stuff. (Hi Mom!)

How far along? 30 weeks. Time is going TOO FAST! I am freaking out, man.              Total weight gain/loss: Somewhere between 10-100 lbs.
Maternity clothes? Man. Why did I wait so long? Maternity clothes are the bomb diggity. They make me feel cute instead of feeling like a big fatty fat fat, and it's like secretly wearing sweat pants all of the time. I still incorporate lots of my regular shirts, but my pants are all maternity all the time, and I'm not looking back. 
Stretch marks? Argh, kind of a sore subject. I'm trying to be a trooper and appreciate that they're just a mark of a body stretching for a baby, but they just bum me out! No amount of oiling or lotioning keeps them from blossoming out and slowly ripping up my belly. Rats.
Sleep: I am the sleeping champion of the world. I pee at least 3 times a night, but I can pretty much get up and go to the bathroom and remain unconscious.
Best moment this week: Finding out that I passed my 3 hour glucose test and don't have gestational diabetes. Praise Buddha.
Movement: Oh yes. My belly now ripples and rolls and jabs, and today I could identify a foot sticking out around my belly button. Super awesome and weird and freaky.
Food cravings: I've been loving caeser salad these days.
Anything making you queasy or sick: That 3 hour glucose drink was a real treat. Barf.
Have you started to show yet: I think I finally look for reals pregnant now. It makes me happy.

 Gender prediction: BOY!
Labor Signs: No siree. Not even a Braxton-Hicks contraction. 
Belly Button in or out? So in. I don't think that bad boy is ever popping out. I kind of wish it would, so I could clean it properly for once in my life. 
Wedding rings on or off? Depends on the day... when it's hot and I'm super busy, I get little sausage fingers.

 Happy or Moody most of the time: ... See above chart.
Weekly Wisdom: Sumo squats are really great for all sorts of pregnancy woes. Bladder control, lower back pain, hip pain... I highly recommend them. 

My cute seester and I. Isn't she a babe? This is like 28 weeks-ish.

Picture from this morning. 30 weeks already! Holy smokes!