Have yourself a merry little christmas.

The day after Christmas is kind of the pits. Christmas is just about my favorite thing about life, and I hate when it's over! I always leave the tree up and keep trying to be Christmas-y until New Years, but there's no Christmas music on the radio, and everyone is going back to normal life. I am not a fan.

This day after Christmas was especially a major downer. This is my first Christmas of my memory that I haven't spend at Snowbird, UT with my family. Cary had to work and is flying early into the morning, so I've been all by my onesie today. I decided to take myself on a pity date and go see Les Miserables by myself. I  was actually pretty excited about my date with myself. I don't have to share my soda and I can cry if I want to and no one will make fun of me. So I drove myself all the way over to the theater, parked in the insanely crowded parking lot, walked into the ridiculously packed theater... and Les Mis was sold out until late tonight. Blargh. Solo movies only sound fun during the day time, so I pouted my way back home. Oh, worst part of the story, how could I forget this? I dinged Cary's car trying to back out of the garage. It was in their in kind of a weird angle, and I'm not used to driving his car, and I clipped the front bumper. Darn it. Now I REALLY wish I was at Snowbird.

Aside from all of my woes, our holidays were actually lovely, albeit a bit lonely. Just ask my iPhone.

Decorating the tree! This is my most favorite ornament. It's a baby Diet Coke! Wearing earmuffs! For the love!

 My second favorite ornament. When I was little, pickles were my favorite food. My family has a pickle ornament to hang on the tree, which it turns out is actually a German tradition to hide the pickle ornament on the tree. Regardless of tradition, I love the ornament, so I don't ever hide it. And when I got all grown up with my own Christmas tree, my sister got me by very own pickle ornament! And that's when I knew I'd made it.

I motion that we all leave Christmas trees up all year long. The glow of the tree every night just makes me so darn happy.

 I made stockings! It was pretty exciting. I still need to figure out how to put names on them, but that greatly exceeded my crafting abilities.

Brent got married! It was such a delight. Cary was a groomsmen, and his tuxedo was more than just a little bit amusing to me. The Los Angeles Temple was so beautiful, and the weather was gorgeous while we were there. But I learned that I could never live in Los Angeles, because the traffic would give me high blood pressure and extreme rage disorder.

Everyone loves a super squinty picture.

 My baby!!! Or rather, Katie's baby. But I love her a whole lot.

 She kills me. She's has our whole goofy family wrapped around her usually slobbery finger.

 They're married! Goodness, they are just the cutest couple. They are SO in love, and it is really nauseating adorable. Seriously, they make my heart happy. Their sealing was beautiful.

 Caaaaaaan you feel the looooooove tonight? Those love birds.

 Angela looked so beautiful! I'm so happy she's in my family now! I love those two so much.

 The reception was so gorgeous! And the food was delicious. The first wedding cake I've had that was actually very tasty! And I ate about 13 million shrimps.

 Cute pregs sister.

 Since Cary was a groomsmen, we sat at the head table, all important like. Also, Cary had to walk in with the bridal party and the bridesmaid he was partnered with was like 6 foot tall. It was quite humorous. And my parents missed their entrance, and the announcer had to call them twice. Also humorous. Us Reichman folk aren't used to such fancy affairs.

 The options with these pictures are: Dark and Cary looking normal, or bright and Cary looking like he has no neck. Meh.

 Ellie dancing with grandpa. Cue heart melting.

 The next day we went to Santa Monica Pier and poked around. It was groovy. And I ate the best breakfast burrito of my life. And we drove the Pacific Coast Highway, which was beautiful. And then we spent a reeeeeeaaaalllly long time at the airport, as our flights kept getting delayed. We went to the USO at one airport, and it was the bomb dot com. We ate and lounged and played Connect 4. It was radical. But then we almost missed our flight and had to literally sprint across the entire airport which was like 10 miles and that was slightly less radical. 

Also, I met soooo many weirdos during our many flights. My most recent seat mate was a rather large fellow who has 3 cats and loves comic books, and told me about these things extensively. Another notable passenger sang Inn A Gadda Da Vida and other great jams very loudly throughout the flight, and then at the end yelled to no one in particular, "I don't drink a lot of milk. But I DO drink a looooot of beer!" Really? I never would have guessed. Yet ANOTHER crazy appeared in the form of a lady who talked very loudly and enthusiastically to Cary and I in the airport, and then proceeded to introduce us to random people in the airport as her "close friends". When she left, she gave Cary a very enthusiastic and very one-sided hug. Just smelling her breath made me feel tipsy. I seem to be a magnet for bizarre flight companions, such as this memorable dude.

 It's Christmas time! Ugh, I miss Christmas already. Cary got jammies and dinero to Home Depot from his parents! Thanks, guys!

I got super awesome socks, gift cards to Pottery Barn and a little cook book about making single-serving cakes in the microwave! That could be trouble... Thanks Mom and Dad Reeves!

 Cary wouldn't stop taking pictures, but this got him to stop. So many chins...

 Wooooo Ticket to Ride! We love this game. Even though I have never won in the many, many times we've played it with our friends, I do still mostly enjoy it. And now I enjoy it even more, because this is the US version instead of the Europe version, so I actually know where the cities are!

 Cary got me an awesome new scarf, and Abby couldn't wait to try it out.

 Our new Christmas Eve tradition: Peppermint ice cream and watching Christmas movies! Doing all of my family's traditions makes me all homesick, so we decided to try to think up some new ones for us.

Blockus! This game is especially great, because you can play it with two people! And also because I spanked Cary's behind when we played it.

My awesome Mama sent me a stocking! She's so cute. And I got monies and earrings and candy galore! Today I've eaten candy, popcorn, and yogurt. Perhaps I should change that.

Sleepy Cary with his stocking. He's so precious.

Cary got me this great t-shirt! Read the caption- it makes me giggle.

Look at all the candy!!! I am a five year old. I love candy so much.

New ski coat! Yahoo! And yes those are TWO layers of coat you see! Cary got a new ski coat last year, and he will not stop talking about his dang Columbia Interchange Omniheat Jacket. It's like his girlfriend. He loves his jacket more than any person has ever loved an inanimate object before. So naturally, I got one too this year. And I do love it! And I get to try it out next Monday on our ski trip! Cary and I are going skiing Monday and Tuesday next week and I CAN'T WAIT! I AM SO EXCITED I HAVE TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS! Sorry for yelling at you.

Look at all of my loot! I'm a spoiled brat.

My dad always buys all of the girls some sort of matching clothing and all of the boys something matchy. This year the girls got fleeces and the guys got hilariously tacky golf shorts. Cary was being a weenie and wouldn't model them to take a picture for my parents, so I did the honors. I think they look great on me. Especially over my jeans.

And then I made an apple pie! It was so tasty. And it's supposed to look like that. It was scrumptious. But looking at it right now is making me feel pretty gross, considering the amount of candy I consumed today.

Look at that little nugget. My sister sent me this picture, and I about fell over dead. Just the cutest.

And that's a wrap, folks! I was a major baby about missing Snowbird this year, but my sweet husband took care of me and we managed to have a cozy Christmas, just the two of us. And he even humored me and sang Christmas carols at the piano for a very long time on Christmas eve. It made me cry. I obviously love the lights and presents and food of Christmas, but it would be nothing without celebrating the gift of our Savior. And we got to spend our Christmas remembering that precious gift, so our Christmas was a success.

My heart still aches for condo 721 and Big Emma and the big hot tub and creamies (all Snowbird staples) and I hope so bad that we make it out there next year! I love all you crazy Reichman! And now I'm off to consider all of the things that I like about being a grown up, so I won't be tempted to drive back home to my Mommy forever... Just kidding. Kind of. 

Titles are for squares

Thank you all SO much for your kind words on my last post. From the bottom of my heart, I am so grateful for all of your prayers and sweet comments. It meant the world to me, and I could honestly feel comfort from your prayers. We are already starting to feel much better. Every now and then random things like spying my prenatal vitamins under the bathroom sink, or that fact that every single ad on the internet is now about babies (how do they know???) still hit me with a little stab of sadness, but it gets better every day. It feels strangely morbid to look on the bright side, but you just kind have to. So for now, I'm enjoying drinking caffeinated beverages, doing hard work outs, and we planned a little ski trip for the weekend of New Years. That's one thing I've learned in the last few years- no matter what happens, time continues to tick along. And you do your best to just pick up and keep going along with it.

Now. Moving on from serious and sad topics, and back our regularly scheduled programming of really riveting repartee (now featuring: alliteration!).

 I am currently in the throes of a massive Goldfish (the cracker, not the actual fish) addiction. I'm not sure a stranger addiction exists. In a fit of insanity, I decided it would be reasonable to purchase a gigantic container of the cheesy little guys at Costco, and now I can't stop eating them! I don't even know anyone above the age of 5 who still likes Goldfish crackers. But I love them so. Someone help.

Hey, speaking of weird foods I love, who else has tried these chocolate covered peppermint peeps? They are so freakin good. I died and went to heaven. I know I am about the only person on earth who loves peeps, but it is time to open your minds, friends. These peeps are totally different than the usual peep (which is also delicious) and even the most staunch confectionery chicken hater will like them. Hearken, o ye despisers of marshmallow chickens. Give peeps a chance. Heh heh. Like give peace a chance, get it? But seriously, try them and immediately alert me that you have changed your ways and are now converted to the sugary and fluffy side of life.

I just did a google image search for "gift for husband" and this is one of the pictures that came up. I can't even tell you how THRILLED Cary would be to receive such a gift. The man loves his sentimental hangers...? There needs to be a font that designates when things should be read in a sarcastic tone of voice. Why are husbands so hard to shop for? Plus, double lame town, my husband's birthday and Christmas are 4 days apart. For the love! He is getting some weird presents, because I just pick stuff out while I'm already out shopping. "Oh, Cary loves stapling things... I'll get him a stapler. Everyone loves a Christmas stapler in their stocking." Does anyone have any genius ideas of what to get for husbands?

Of all of my recent addictions and guilty pleasures, this has got to be the most shameful. I started watching Grey's Anatomy to entertain myself when Cary's not around, because I knew it was a show he would absolutely hate. What I didn't know is that I would get sucked into this ridiculous drama fest of a show, and have dreams about strange medical problems and being in the hospital and being friends with Meridith Grey. Also, on two separate occasions, I started to tell a story about someone I heard of who had such-and-such thing happen to them, only to realize half way through my story that it was from an episode of Grey's Anatomy. I am so ashamed.

To end this blog entry in a bizarre and arbitrary fashion, as I am wont to do, here is a recent video that I really enjoyed:

Michael Buble is so dreamy, and Jimmy Fallon is hilarious.

Empty.

I know some people wouldn't talk about this, and would just move on like nothing happened, but as you all know at this point, I am an oversharer. And when things happen to me, I talk about them. So.

Over Thanksgiving break, I noticed that my period was late. And it kept getting later. I started noticing the tell-tale signs of pregnancy, but continued to dismiss them and not get my hopes up. But eventually I couldn't handle the wondering anymore. On Thanksgiving day, Cary and I went to the store to buy a pregnancy test. With everyone milling about at our homes, I didn't trust my acting abilities enough to not to blow it that something was up. So, like a nervous teenage girl, I took the pregnancy test in the stall of the grocery store bathroom. 2 minutes tortuously ticked by and I nearly swallowed my tongue when I saw the word "Pregnant" staring back at me. I rushed outside, shaking and holding the stick towards Cary like I was worried it would explode. Cary hugged me and held me so tight and I kept saying over and over again, "I'm pregnant. I'm. Pregnant. I'm PREGNANT!" I was so terrified and excited and shocked and amazed and scared and thrilled. I filled the entire emotional spectrum. We told our parents that day, but decided to keep it under wraps until after I'd seen the doctor and the pregnancy had progressed a little further.

That night, I decided to take another test, just to confirm. It came out negative. Strange. But I knew that the hormone concentration could be lower at night, so I didn't worry too much. I took another test in the morning. Also negative. Very strange. At this point I was getting a little freaked out. Over the next week, I took almost a dozen pregnancy tests. 4 positives, 4 with very faint second lines, and 3 negatives. To say I was confused would be an understatement. When I finally got back from our wonderful thanksgiving vacation, I went and got a blood test. The blood test came back positive! Finally, the drama was over! We called our parents and told them and finally allowed ourselves to celebrate the joyful news! I thought the roller coaster of emotions was over.

This morning I woke up at 4 in the morning to pain and bleeding. We went to the emergency room and after tests and ultrasounds, we found out that we lost the baby. I was supposed to be 7 weeks tomorrow. I feel very fortunate to have had such kind and compassionate doctors and nurses. They took care of me and made me feel normal for mourning the loss of our baby. We've only known about this pregnancy for a few weeks, but a few weeks is long enough to get attached to the idea of bringing a baby home. To (happily) put educational and career plans on hold. To imagine rearranging the guest room to be a baby's room. To picture my belly growing and feeling our baby kick. To stock my purse with gum and crackers to help relieve the new nausea I was feeling. To long to meet the baby that would have made us a family of 3.

I know that this isn't really the tragic stuff that Lifetime movies are made from. And I know that many pregnancies end in miscarriage, and that most women go on to have healthy babies afterwards. And I know we'll be okay. But right now we're really sad. And that's okay too.