Reeves Go Road Trippin'

Sometimes when I have a ton of stuff I really need to get done, I get really overwhelmed and instead of doing those important things, I get distracted and do a bunch of things that don't particularly need doing. For example, right now I have approximately 439 errands to run, my house is a disaster, we have zero clean spoons in the house, and my baby is currently napping. So, logically I decided I should use this time to blog. In my defense, I never know if this kid is going to nap for 20 minutes or 3 hours, and I hate getting all invested in a project only to have my little cherub interrupt me and demand I feed him. Babies, man!

We got back yesterday afternoon from a wonderful trip to Utah to see both our families. I am already learning that once you have kids, you no longer go on "vacation", you go on "trips". It wasn't very relaxing and I rarely slept more than 5-6 hours a night, but it was so worth it to see our amazing families. The drive was perfect. It's a 10 hour drive, and Nate slept the entire time both ways. That is like the most he has slept since he entered this world. I am considering just asking someone to drive Nate and me around all night and I will lay in the back and sleep since apparently sleeping in the car is Nate's jam.

Anywho. We pulled into Logan on Saturday, played with the Reeves, and blessed baby Nathan on Sunday afternoon. It was such a perfect blessing. Cary blessed him that he would always have a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ, that he would be smart and eager to learn, and that he would be a blessing to those around him with his light. It was a beautiful blessing and we were so happy we were able to bless him surrounded by so much family. Nathan was blessed in the arms of both of his grandpas and many of his uncles, and it was a sweet and tender day for our little babe.

With all of family that made it to the blessing

The Reeves (minus the little kids who went MIA for pictures)

Love those Reichmans! Thanks for driving out to be with us!

The men who helped bless Nate. What a lucky baby to have such great role models!

After the blessing, we took off for Snowbird! My only complaint about our time in Snowbird is that it was entirely too short!! And it is so dry up there that my poor baby got all congested and sounded like a sad little bulldog. Snowbird was full of eating, skiing, hot tubbing, games, and the general merriment of Christmas. There is nothing I love more than spending time with my family, and poor Cary always has to deal with a blubbering mess every time we leave them. On Christmas Eve, we read the Christmas story and sang Christmas songs, which is always one of my favorite parts of Christmas. Having a newborn baby boy at Christmas time has been so special. Whenever I look at my tiny little boy, I can't imagine how Mary felt. We are all dependent on Christ, and yet for a short time, He was dependent on her. The Savior of the world laid in her arms as a tiny little boy, and holding my own little boy really made the reality of His birth and His life sink in.

Cary was so excited to get Nate his very own Hobbes. It was pretty stinkin cute.

"We are going to be best friends, and I am going to eat your snout."

Grandma life is tough. 

Hanging out with gramps. Nate looks so much like my dad to me sometimes. I love it!

One of the best parts about having a baby is making them look ridiculous and laughing at them. 

I just can't resist the napping pictures. Those cuties.

Ahhhh, skiing was divine. It was a fantastic break from taking care of my babe, and being in the mountains just soothes my soul. 

We got Ryan this incredible beard balaclava for Christmas, and I was pretty proud of that excellent find. 

Nate got to meet Aunt Katie!! Snow was threatening to keep them from Snowbird, and I'm SO glad they got up there and we got to say a quick hello! Love my seester!!

Christmas morning cuties.

Sleepy Christmas morning family

Modeling my Christmas presents. Santa was digging the color purple this year, with my purple shirt, purple jacket, and purples sunnies. 

He was just killing me in his Christmas jammies!

Merry Christmas from the Reeves!

Oh that sweet little babe...

Matching Reich-women in our Christmas jackets!

Christmas day was filled with presents, delicious food, and seeing both of our families. We drove through a snowstorm to Logan, and it took an eternity, but Nate was a champ and slept the entire time once again. That kid is powerless to the hum of the engine and zonks out whenever we're in the car. I am serious about hiring someone to drive us around all night. It sounds like my only shot at ever sleeping through the night again. Any takers? Once we got into Logan safe and sound, we had a few fantastic days with all of the Reeves- the first time in ages we have all been together and the last time for a couple of years most likely! We played tons of awesome games, spent lots of time chatting and catching up, and just enjoyed all being under the same roof! Nate got to meet his cousin Matthew, who is 6 days older than him. It was so fun seeing our babies together and swapping mom stories with Sarah. When I met Sarah, I never could have predicted that our conversations would involve so much poop and nipple talk.

Meeting great grandma Peggy!

Nate has started smiling, but ceases immediately upon sight of the camera. So like his daddy already...

Oh goodness, I want to go outside in cold weather all of the time just so Nate can wear his fluffy suit!

Nathan and Matthew! These two are going to be the best of friends. And the two of them in their fuzzy outfits was just the cutest.

Happy Birthday to Cary! Nate is a little too young to help you with those legos right now... 

We were originally supposed to drive home on Sunday, but it was dumping snow along our entire route, so we opted to stay another day which I was super stoked about. We had a little mini birthday celebration for Cary with his family before we left, since we would be spending Cary's birthday driving home. We drove home on Monday and the weather was mostly fine, and once again Nate zonked out the whole drive. It was actually a really nice day- with our baby snoozing in the back, Cary and I were able to talk the entire drive and it was so great to be able to spend time with my hubby and reconnect. It was the most time we've been able to spend together uninterrupted since Nate was born! Thanks for sleeping the whole time, Nate! Baby of the year! He made up for his good behavior on the drive by barfing all over himself, me and my new Christmas jacket and the couch immediately upon arrival. We ate Cafe Rio for Cary's birthday dinner and in a true miracle, all of us were asleep by 9:30! And Nate slept 5.5 hours and I was one happy girl. Let's not talk about the second half of the night, because it would ruin the beautiful memories of being in my bed uninterrupted for that glorious stretch. And let's also not mention that I spent half of that time staring at the ceiling because my body thinks it's super fun to not sleep even when I'm so exhausted.

I think things are starting to look up for me and Mr. Nathaniel. For someone who knows what they are doing, Nate would probably not be that difficult of a baby. But man is he giving me a run for my money! He is doing loads better since we started him on some medication for reflux. Poor little man was puking nonstop, and crying every time he would spit up. He spent all night grunting and coughing and gagging, and was just generally uncomfortable all of the time. He is pretty long suffering about the ordeal, and doesn't usually cry much, but he is fairly restless and fussy, especially in the evenings and during the night. All of this made for one exhausted Amy. There was a spell there where I was sleeping maybe 4 hours a night and I was slowly coming unraveled. I took Nate to the pediatrician because I was at my wits end. Our pediatrician is in our ward and is a good friend, and she walked into the room and asked how I was doing, and I immediately dissolved into tears and whimpered, "Not good!". She let me cry in her office for a while and gave him some medication that seems to be helping a lot. And before you judge me for medicating my 7 week old baby, let me assure you that I've tried feeding him for less time and more often, burping him constantly, he sleeps on an incline, I hold him upright after feedings, and nothing was helping my sad baby. And if you tell me about an essential oil that would cure him, I will tell you somewhere you can feel free to stick that bottle of essential oils and it will not be comfortable. I told someone recently that we had Nate on reflux medication and they acted like I was giving him rat poison. Judge me after you haven't slept more than 2 hours straight in a month!

Being a mom makes me feel slightly bipolar- sometimes I am so completely in love and obsessed with our little guy that my heart feels like it could burst. Other times this feels like a terrible babysitting gig that will never end and I just want the real mom to come home so I can go back to my regular life. But I feel like things are slowly evening out and I am getting more used to having a tiny human around all of the time. I was supposed to have a week of clients the week before we left for our vacation, but that happened to coincide with the peak of crying and unhappiness, both from me and Nate, and I was really on the verge of seriously losing it. I texted one of my clients to tell her I wasn't sure I would be up to doing her hair, and she texted me back saying that my only job right now is to take care of my sweet baby and take care of myself, and nothing else matters. For some reason that text meant so much to me, and I felt so validated and liberated. I have felt a lot of pressure, probably mostly from myself, to be back to regular life- busy running errands, taking care of the house, working out, doing hair, and having a baby who naps at predictable times. I have felt so frustrated with myself and with Nate that just keeping my head above water has been such a struggle. But having someone else tell me it's okay to just snuggle my baby on the couch and let everything else fall to the side for now meant so much to me, and I'm taking her advice. So the dishes are still in the sink, the laundry still needs to be folded, but my baby is smiling at me today and I'm happy, and that means I'm doing everything right.

Baby overalls make it all worth it.

Tummy time is so tiring. I sure love that little guy.

One Month of Being Nate's Mama

I've been Nate's mom for one month! By the way, we call him Nathaniel, Nathan, Nate, bub, cutie pie, little stinker, handsome face, buddy boy, little man, and many other ridiculous nicknames, and you can also feel free to call him whatever strikes your fancy. Well, not whatever. Don't call him a butthead or a girl's name. Anywho. While I was pregnant, I read pretty much everything ever written on the internet about having a newborn; what to expect, sleeping strategies, feeding tips, etc. But there really is no way to prepare for what it's going to be like to have this tiny new human come live at your house and reply completely on you to meet his every need and soil every item in your house with various bodily fluids. But seeing as I'm now a seasoned expert at this mom gig (haha), I think I owe it to the internet to write one more post about what life is like when you have a brand spankin' new baby. The good, the bad, and the weird.

The good:

1. Having a baby that wants ME. I have spent a lot of time in my life trying to soothe babies who quite obviously want nothing to do with me. I'd be holding them and frantically trying to rock and bounce and soothe just right, and they'd be crying and staring at me with a look that clearly says, "Give me to someone who knows what they're doing; I hate your guts." I still have no idea what I'm doing, but as soon as Nate is in my arms, he instantly relaxes and looks so at home. It is more magical than I ever imagined. I thought it would be extremely draining being the one that the baby wants, and it is sometimes, but mostly it is a humbling and tender privilege to be that sweet baby's mama.

My little buddy.

2. A freshly bathed baby in pajamas. After our evening ritual of bath and lotion, I just sit and snuggle my babe and smell his intoxicating little baby head and fall in love all over again.

Homeboy loves his baths. He gets so zen.

3. Watching Cary be a dad. Oh be still my heart. I knew he would be the best dad ever. And he is so stinkin' tender to both Nate and me. I know having a baby will change our marriage, and it definitely gives us less time for each other, but so far it's just made me even crazier about that man. He was born to be a dad. When Cary holds Nate, Nate just stares at him, completely captivated. I stepped out of the shower one time to see Cary holding Nate in bed, reading his book aloud to Nate, and my heart was a puddle. Nate probably will be scarred for life from Cary reading "World War Z" out loud to him, but it was cute anyway.

I mean, really. Just the cutest duo I ever did see.

 4. Breastfeeding. I always thought I would hate it. And it was definitely a love-hate relationship in the awkward and painful learning stages. But now that we've mostly got the hang out of it, I just love feeding my baby with food my body makes specially designed for him. Breastfeeding used to weird me out so bad, and now it feels like the most natural thing I could do. Not everyone can breastfeed, and absolutely no judgment for however you feed your baby, but I am grateful that it's working for us, and grateful for those sweet moments. Pumping is still freakin' weird and I feel like a dairy cow. But being able to toss Cary the baby in the middle of the night and tell him to give Nate a bottle makes it oh so worth it.
5. I am actually loving this period of hunkering down and staying home and getting to know our baby. We venture out to the store or out to lunch every now and then, but mostly we stay home. I cuddle my baby, try to get things done around the house (which does take considerably more time than it used to), we go on walks when the weather is okay, and watch Gilmore Girls on Netflix. I only get to have my first baby once. Next time we have a baby, I will most likely be chasing around a toddler, and I won't have the luxury of staying home and taking it easy. So I am just savoring these days of just me and my little guy, and we both love it when daddy comes home. Also, I'm a total germaphobe and won't let anyone touch him, so laying low is good for everyone at this point.

 The bad:
1. The sleep deprivation. Oh sweet mercy. I knew I would be sleep deprived as a new mom, but I could not comprehend the depth of tiredness. Nate is such a sweet and alert baby, and unfortunately he thinks night time is the time to hang out and NOT sleep. He's slowly improving, but there was a solid week and a half or so where I could not get the stinker to sleep until 2 or 3 in the morning, unless he was in my arms. Woof. I also did not expect how much sleep deprivation would effect me. Postpartum hormones and sleep deprivation are one potent cocktail for going absolutely bonkers. I come completely emotionally unhinged when I'm severely sleep deprived. I cry over everything, feel detached from my baby, hate my husband, and get insanely anxious when I'm running on 3 hours of sleep. When I'm the throes of a crazy person meltdown, I absolutely can not find perspective. I am just convinced that I am going to hate my life forever and Nate is never going to sleep and life is ruined. Usually it takes Cary sending me to our room to sleep for me to snap out of it. And it's really amazing how restorative just a couple of hours of sleep can be for my psyche. I'm learning to hand the reigns over to Cary when I'm on the verge of a complete meltdown, and Nate is slowly learning to sleep better, so hopefully we'll figure this out and I won't have to run away to Vegas to become a showgirl after all.

Nice bed head, Nate! At least one of us around here is spending enough time asleep to get bed head...

2. The spit up. Nate is a very odd spitter-upper. He never spits up with any discernible pattern, and he doesn't often spit up in massive quantities, but every now and then he'll really spew. Usually right after we are both freshly dressed in clean clothes. He seems entirely un-phased by the events, so I'm sure he's just fine, but it's still gross.
3. The constant worry. Oh goodness, the worry. That baby can't so much as sneeze without me freaking out and googling his every symptom. The internet is so helpful and so awful when you are a new mama. I am really grateful for some awesome and helpful information I've found on the internet, but I have found about 500% more horrible advice and opinions. I'm slowly (very slowly) learning to trust my mama intuition and brush off the things I read that tell me that if my baby ever sleeps in his swing, he will never sleep through the night and probably will never get into college and it will be all my fault for not having the discipline to teach him from day 1 to sleep in his crib. Or conversely, if I don't hold my baby at every moment and feed him every time he makes a sound, he will never bond to me and will most likely end up in jail. People be trippin'.

He is obviously quite stressed too.

4. I hate changing diapers. A month in, and I still hate it. I thought I'd get used to it, and I sort of am used to it, but it's still the worst.
5. I also hate putting onesies on him. I feel like getting his giant head through that tiny neck hole must remind him of the trauma of birth.

Just chatting with Abby.

 The weird:
1. Smelling so bad. All of the time. I constantly smell like sour milk, spit up, and B.O. I had (still sometimes have) absolutely awful post-partum night sweats. Combined with leaky boobs and a baby that consistently leaks from both ends, and I actually shower more now that I have a baby than I did pre-baby. One night, Cary snuggled up all close to me and whispered tenderly in my ear, "Let me watch the baby while you take a shower. You smell really bad." It was really romantic.

Touchdown.

2. Baby acne and postpartum acne. Nate and I could be on a mother-son Proactive commercial. People of Proactive, let me know if you want to get on that opportunity. It could be really darling.
3. Can we please just talk about how foreign your body feels after you have a baby? The belly you have been cultivating for 9 months is suddenly gone, but leaves behind some saggy skin and stretch marks. Your boobs are all kinds of out of whack and leaking and weird and often two completely different sizes. And as this is a family blog we aren't even going to mention your unmentionables. It is a war zone. Everything just feels a little out of sorts after birthing a tiny human.
4. Umbilical cords and circumcisions. So much weirdness.

"Well what did you expect Mom? All of this used to be inside of you and now it's outside. It's bound to be traumatic."

 5. It's still just really weird that an actual baby lives at my house. It's weird to write "diapers" on my shopping list. It's weird to carry a car seat out to the car. It's weird to have baby paraphernalia covering every surface of my house. It's awesome, but it's weird.

Cary brought him back from getting dressed after a bath with his first little faux hawk. We love messing with his hair and laughing at the ridiculous faces this baby makes. We should probably just start saving already for this child's therapy.

 What a month it's been. Not to be too cliche, but it's been the best of times and the worst of times. So much love and so much worry. So much happiness and so much stress. It feels like he was born yesterday and like he's always been here.

What a ride, Nathaniel Cary! We are so excited to watch you grow. Just don't grow too fast. I've started putting away newborn clothes you've outgrown, and it hurts my heart just a little bit. Even when you are keeping me up at all hours of the night or spitting up directly down my cleavage, I feel so blessed that your sweet little spirit joined our family. Looking into your bright eyes feels like peeking straight into heaven. We love you to pieces, baby Nate.

I had a baby.

Now, this is story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down, and I'd like to take a minute so just sit right there, I'll tell you how I became a mom of a babe with lots of hair...

I love reading birth stories. And I still can't quite believe that now I have my own to write! And I'm just going to warn you right now, this is gonna be a doozy, so get a snack and let's get down to the nitty gritty (to be read in the voice of Nacho Libre).

Let's start with Wednesday. I had a doctor's appointment that morning, where my doctor told me I was 3.5 cm dilated, baby was engaged, and she told me to go home and pack a hospital bag because the baby was coming before the end of the week. Side note: doctors should not say such things, because it made me like crazy bonkers with anxiety. That afternoon, I lost my mucous plug and had other symptoms that typically mean labor is immanent. Let me just pause right there and tell you that if reading mucous plug made you cringe, this might not be the story for you. Anywho. So I was feeling a little anxious and excited and just waiting for the contractions to start. Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday all passed very uneventfully and I was still super pregnant, so I was ready to just hunker down until my due date, and figured my doctor was just a bad predictor of events. I hadn't felt a single contraction, and didn't really have much reason to believe the baby was coming. I made plans for the next week, including some hair appointments (sorry clients!) and tried not to be too bummed out that our baby was going to take his time. 

Sunday morning I hopped out of bed and felt a lot of fluid in my underoos. I legitimately did not know if I peed my pants or if something else had happened. So I slapped on some clean drawers and we went to church. All during church, everything was dry and so I figured I'd peed my pants, because I was 9 months pregnant and that seems like the kind of thing that happens to 9 months pregnant people. During the 3rd hour of church, I was talking to a friend about the torture of wondering when baby is coming, and how I thought baby time was probably far away, when I felt a real big gush of fluid. I went to the bathroom to discover that I most certainly was not peeing myself. I decided to text Cary and tell him that after church, we should go to the hospital just in case that was my water breaking. I sat back down in my church meeting (with a pad... I wasn't leaking disgusting things all over the place just yet) and I even said the opening prayer, when Cary texted me and said get your butt out here, we're going to the hospital now, you crazy person. I'm summarizing, but that's the essence. 

I was still in complete denial that we were going to the hospital to have a baby. I told Cary they would probably send me home since I still had not had a single contraction. I gathered my things extremely slowly when we got home, which was driving Cary crazy, because he wanted to get to the hospital and get this party started. I also didn't eat lunch, because I was just positive we'd be back home soon. I would very much come to regret this lack of lunch. We drove to the hospital and it was just so surreal. We were casually chatting, and I had no pain whatsoever, so we just kind of moseyed into the hospital and to labor and delivery. We got to the front desk, and I told the gal that I thought my water had broken, and I could tell she thought I was crazy. I think most people checking into labor and delivery aren't usually relaxed and walking around like nothing was happening. They had me collect some fluid and immediately upon sight, the nurse said, "This is definitely amniotic fluid, let's get you a room, because you're having a baby today!" As soon as she said that, Cary and I stared at each other with panic stricken eyes, and I just about started crying. I've had 9 months to get ready- how can I still not be ready?? But I kept it together somehow, and we went to a room.

They hooked me up to monitors that showed I was having small contractions every 5 minutes. I couldn't feel anything. Since my water had broken at 7 that morning and they want the baby out usually within 24 hours of the water breaking, they started me on some pitocin. I'd heard plenty o' pitocin horror stories, so I thought a long hard labor was in front of me and settled in for a rough day and night. Pretty quickly the pitocin started to do it's thang, and I was hurting something fierce. I told Cary to nap since it would be a long night, and I sat on a birthing ball and texted friends and family and attempted to watch The Office. After a little bit of that, the contractions were too intense to text or even watch TV, and they were coming every 2 minutes. So I tried various laboring positions and breathed through the contractions as best as I could. The nurse would come in every now and then and frown at the monitors and say "Your contractions just aren't becoming productive and organized! They are really weak and erratic." And I would groan through a contraction and try to casually say, "Oh really? Hmmm it kinda feels like maybe they are coming really regularly and kinda strong...haha!" I was trying to smile and pretend I wasn't dying, since apparently I wasn't even having real contractions. So every time she came in, she'd shrug and say "We'll just leave you for some more time and see if we can get things going!" And every time she left, I would just about dissolve into tears because it hurt SO BAD and if this was "nonproductive" labor, productive labor was going to kill me dead. After hours of this, and starting to get really discouraged, I made Cary wake up and hold my hands during contractions. I just about broke his fingers. I was still trying to breathe through them and be strong, but my resolve was crumbling because I thought I wasn't even making any progress. Eventually, I told the nurse that I didn't think my contractions were getting picked up on the monitors because what I was feeling looked nothing like what the screen was showing, and they decided to put in an internal monitor. Immediately the nurse was like, "Whoa baby! You are contracting every 2 minutes and those are some big contractions!" I about cried with relief to hear that. She checked me and I was at a 7. 

After that whole ordeal, I was absolutely exhausted and decided I was ready for the sweet relief of an epidural. The anesthesiologist came to place the epidural, and sitting still during those beastly contractions was the absolute worst. Oh scratch that, sitting still while she tried to place the epidural for a SECOND time, was the absolute worst. Yeah, the first epidural did not work at all, and I could feel the needle and tons of pressure where the needle was, and she didn't hit the right space, so she had to place it again. After almost an hour of her working back there, she said, "Well, that may or may not work. It may only work on one side. It may not work at all." Those were pretty much the worst possible words I imagined coming out of her mouth. She was not my favorite person on the planet after that announcement. The epidural took the edge off, but I had spots on the front and all through the back that it did not touch at all. I still felt every contraction every 2 minutes. Along with the really lovely sensation that the baby was actually going to emerge from my butt hole. Owwwwww. It was super fun. Isn't childbirth beautiful?

Luckily, I progressed from a 7 to a 10 really quickly, and it was suddenly time to push. I always intended for Cary to stand by my shoulders and sort of cheer me on without really being involved in the carnage of my lady parts birthing a watermelon, but the nurses gave him no such option. They told him to grab a leg and get in there! But he was the greatest motivator and the only thing that kept me going. By now, my epidural was pretty worthless, and I could feel so much pressure and pain and an uncontrollable urge to push. And pushing felt great... for the first hour. I was making a lot of progress, and they kept saying how close I was and they called the doctor after 45 minutes. The doctor got all dressed and the room got all ready and I pushed and pushed with every muscle in my entire body. For Two. Whole. Hours. At one point I asked if we could just stop for a little bit because I was really tired and hungry and maybe we could just press pause on this operation and I could regroup and maybe have a sandwich? The nurse and doctor laughed but I was not joking. Apparently once the whole pushing thing has begun, there is no turning back. The baby had turned his head so it was kind of sideways in there, and I pushed so dang hard trying to get that giant noggin out. I pushed so hard I had burst blood vessels all over my face and shoulders, and all in my eyes. I started to get really dizzy and black out while I was pushing, so they put an oxygen mask on me. Contractions were coming so so close and I couldn't catch my breath. The baby's heart rate started to drop between contractions, so the doctor told me I had one more push to get him out, or she was going to do an episiotomy, and possibly have to use a vacuum. Well, that sure inspired me. I geared up for the push of a lifetime and Cary pulled my chest to my knees and I gave it everything I had in me and finally felt the terrible and amazing feeling of his head and whole body finally coming out of me. They laid him on my chest and the very first words I said to my son were, "That was the weirdest and most painful thing on earth." It was very tender. Luckily Cary was there to save the moment and held us both and kissed my head and said, "You did it, Amy! That's our son! That's our boy!" I am so very grateful for that man. The entire labor he cheered me on, told me how great I was doing, helped me drink water, and I truly do not think I could have done it without him. 

They took our baby to clean him up and take care of me. I had a very minor tear, and thank goodness, because I felt every stitch going in. Woof. Once I was all cleaned up, I sat up and they brought our sweet baby boy back to me, and the emotions that were missing in the chaos after birth came flooding over me. I stared into those perfect eyes and tried to process that this baby was the same one that I'd been carrying for 9 months. The same little flickering heartbeat I saw on the ultrasound at 6 weeks, the little gummy bear shaped baby I saw at 12 weeks. The same little toes I felt in my ribs and the same little legs I felt kicking away in there. I was so worried that I wouldn't bond with my baby and I wouldn't love him. But it turns out, I loved him all along. Welcome to our family, Nathaniel Cary Reeves. You are the piece we didn't know was missing.

"And then my soul saw you, and it kind of went "Oh, there you are. I've been looking for you." " 

*****

And now for some pictures of the birth and all dat. 

 

My last preggo pic. Almost 39 weeks. 

 Cary sleeping through the majority of my labor. (Because I didn't think I was really in labor yet.) I was so jealous of him soundly sleeping while my insides felt like they were ripping in half. I want to be the dad next time we have a kid. Kidding. Kind of.

 The cutest little burrito I ever did see.

 I could just kiss his face off. And I do.

 The proud Daddy. Gosh, I love that man. And in case you're wondering why there are no post-birth pictures of me, it's because my face was covered in burst blood vessels, and my whole face was so swollen I could barely open my eyes. I looked like hell. And I truly did not want that on film. The first time I saw myself in a mirror after birth, I literally yelped in horror. Woof.

 Such a sad little lip while getting checked out!

 All better now. Love those sleep smiles.

 Dad and his little munchkin.

 Just being the cutest ever while hanging out with grandma. My mom has been here since about 30 minutes before he was born, and she has been a complete lifesaver. I would be in the looney bin without her, and none of us would have any clean clothes.

 Sleeping with a baby on your chest is heaven.

Abby was staying with a friend while we were in the hospital and for our first day home (Thanks, Karli!). When she came back home, she immediately tried to go bug Nate and I yelled at her. Ever since then she has been super timid and sweet and never bothers him. Before I took this picture, she was laying with her head on the ground, looking at him. They are going to be best buddies for sure.

 My buddy.

 Taken just a couple of minutes ago. Love that airplane hoodie that he will probably outgrow by next week, and love those perfectly kissable cheeks. He just has my whole heart. 

Well, that was super duper long, and if you made it this far, I am very impressed. I have a million other things I want to write about new motherhood and how my love for my husband and my baby is so big it hurts, and how I ate almost a whole big bag of peanut butter m&ms by myself today, but it will have to wait for another time. Because my baby is waking up and I need to go snuggle him and rub his cute baby head and kiss his nose. Having a baby, man. I know it's cliche, but it's the hardest and best thing that has ever happened to me.